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A New Home For Old Photographs

October 14, 2014
by the gentle author

Photograph by O. Baumgard, 12 Little Alie St

It fills me with dismay to see old family albums for sale. And boxes of loose family photographs, all mixed up together, are one of the saddest sights you could encounter in the market.

Countless times, I have leafed through these books of photographs, often painstakingly captioned, that were once cherished and are now discarded, and I find it hard to resist the urge to buy them all just so that I can keep them safe on behalf of their former owners. I stand and pay my respects to the tender images of the holidays and family celebrations of strangers, as if my close attention might revive the lonely spirits of these lost souls. Yet, as much as I would like to, it is beyond my capacity to become the guardian and collector of all the stray photographs in the world, and so I must pass them by in regret.

So you can imagine my delight when Stefan Dickers, Archivist at the Bishopsgate Institute, told me that he is offering a home to all the unwanted albums and family photographs, where they can be kept safely for perpetuity and take their rightful place in the grand narrative of history. It is to be called the London Family Photo Archive and the beauty of it is that you can also contribute digital copies of photographs if you wish to keep the prints.

“We are looking for family and personal photos of everyday life, no matter if you have lived in London since birth or are a recent arrival to the city,” Stefan explained to me, “We are also looking for photos that depict Londoners on day trips and holidays outside of the city.”

If you might wish to contribute albums or pictures and would like to know more please contact library@bishopsgate.org.uk

Stefan Dickers’ grandparents Win & Doug enjoy a drink at Dirty Dicks’ in 1958

Lucy feeding the pigeons in Trafalgar Sq in 1981

Stephen with mum & dad, c.1955

Stephen with dad in the backyard at Canning Town, c. 1965

Joan & Bill Naylor celebrate in Bellevue Place in the sixties

Joginder Singh in 1968

Photograph by Oscar Baumgart, The Empire Studio, 118 Commercial Rd

A family Christmas in Elder St 1968 – Neville Turner sits next to his father at the dinner table

John & June getting married in Ealing in 1953

Bob Mazzer & his dad ‘Mott’ in 1950

Michelle at a party in Peckham in 1991

Family portrait at a studio in Vallance Rd, 1980. From left to right – Arful Nessa (mother), Haji Abdul Jalil (father), Hafsa Begum (sister), Rahana Begum (sister), Faruk Miah (cousin), Shiraz Miah (cousin) and Delwar Hussain.

Marie & the girls from McCloskeys on a beano  in Strype St in 1955

Gwen Bullwinkle holds up her daughter Mavis in Hanbury St in 1933

Dolly & pals on a day trip to Brighton, c. 1950

Lesley & Linda Keeper (on left) playing with friends in Cranberry St, c. 1955

Mohammed, Deena & Elizabeth Omar on holiday at Land’s End in 1974

Susana on a day trip to Wimbledon in 2013 by Jorin Buschor

The Gentle Author’s mother Valerie in 1933

Photographs courtesy Bishopsgate Institute

Sam Middleton & Jasmine Stone, Campaigning Stratford Mothers

October 13, 2014
by the gentle author

Jasmine & her daughter Safia

No-one could fail to respect the courage shown recently by the young mothers of Stratford who, after eviction from the E15 Focus hostel, took possession of a pair of vacant council houses on the Carpenter’s Estate next to the former Olympic site. So last week Contributing Photographer Colin O’Brien & I went over to meet two of the protagonists – close friends Sam Middleton & Jasmine Stone – and hear their story in their own words.

Their audacious gesture ignited a flashpoint in current social policy, both in this Olympic borough and nationwide, as councils seek to balance the books by selling off housing stock to those wishing to exploit the commercial potential of these assets upon the open market. The outcome is a shortage of accommodation and, in this equation, developers’ profits come at the human cost of those most in need of a place to live.

“When I heard the Olympics were coming to Stratford, I was happy and I felt optimistic because I thought there would be lots of jobs, and maybe I’d be able to get a job and a house,” Sam Middleton admitted to me, “But when the Olympics came, I was unable to find a job and it was while I was living in the hostel that I found I was pregnant.”

“The athletes’ village was supposed to become social housing, but then they swapped that idea for ‘affordable’ housing, which is 80% of the market rate,” added Jasmine with a wry grin.

The distinguishing quality of this pair is that, although they have found themselves on the rough end of policy, they have stubbornly refused to become of victims of the circumstance. The two young mothers have forged a bond of friendship, acquiring a confident political awareness and articulacy that is startling to encounter.“We met at the hostel and we’ve been best friends ever since. I think we could easily win the three-legged race,” Jasmine assured me.

“19th October last year was the date of my eviction from the E15 hostel and 20th October was the due date for my baby, but he was a week late,” Sam explained, “It was only because we made the front page of the papers that they extended our eviction notices and we got short-term accommodation in Newham.”

“They said, ‘Wouldn’t you like to go to the seaside?’ and they offered me accommodation in Margate, Birmingham or Manchester, but I could never leave London, I want to be near my family” Jasmine told me, “My nan was born here and my mum was born here, and I’ve never lived anyone else but Newham.”

Looking beyond her own situation, Jasmine explained to me that one hundred and eighty vulnerable young people were evicted from the E15 hostel without any support and four who are known to her are now living on the street. Meanwhile, Newham Council has four hundred vacant council homes including three almost unoccupied tower blocks on the Carpenter’s Estate in the centre of Stratford. Many have been boarded up for years with the upper windows open to accelerate decay. She believes that the council were awaiting the opportunity to sell the estate to a developer to build luxury flats while local people are deprived of homes. “It’s the gentrification of London,” she confided to me.

The fortnight’s occupation of two of these houses by a group of the young mothers, which is now over, was a protest against the injustice of this state of affairs that succeeded in winning widespread public support.

As we were talking, Jasmine received a phone call with the unexpected news that the council is now refurbishing forty houses on the Carpenter’s Estate to open up for the use of those in need. It was a cathartic moment for the pair and a validation of their protest which brought this about. “If they’re opening up forty houses, they can open up the rest of them,” she exclaimed in joy, exchanging a triumphant smile with Sam.

“I  didn’t have a political bone in my body, until I was pregnant and I got handed the eviction notice and I woke up to this whole world of corruption.” Sam confessed to me, flushed with delight. “I think it’s changed us for the better because we’ve learnt that you can get your voice heard. You don’t just have to take things, you can stand up for your rights,” Jasmine continued victoriously, “It’s not just us that have nowhere to live, it’s people across the country. We’ve learnt not to give up and I don’t see myself turning back now. We’re going to go on fighting. We don’t want to be the Mayor of Newham, we want to be the Mothers of Newham!”

Sam Middleton – “We just want somewhere safe and secure we can call home”

The recent occupation of the empty houses on the Carpenter’s Estate

Photographs copyright © Colin O’Brien

You can follow the progress of the Focus E15 Mothers on facebook

In The Crypt Of Christ Church, Spitalfields

October 12, 2014
by the gentle author

For the first time in three centuries, the crypt of Christ Church Spitalfields may be seen with all the dividing walls removed, just as Nicholas Hawksmoor designed it, and last week I was granted the opportunity to photograph this rare vision.

Now the subtlety of Hawksmoor’s geometry is apparent, presenting barrel vaults receding in each direction and proposing a seemingly rational ordered space. Yet a closer examination reveals that the vaults are far from regular and that, as much as the structure of space gives the impression of declaring itself to you, it also conjures a sense of mystery, enfolding you in a forest of columns. The effect is comparable to that of the Basilica Cistern in Istanbul, disorienting the visitor with the feeling you may have entered a labyrinth of infinite recession.

This crypt was filled with the mortal remains of the residents of Spitalfields for centuries. It was not built as a charnel house, but the clergy soon discovered they could capitalise upon the space by renting it out for the storage of the dead, safe from resurrectionists and the travails of time until the day of reckoning. Thus the bulk of the crypt was packed with human remains safely bricked up for eternity.

The remaining space became a refuge for local residents, sleeping there in safety in the company of  their forebears while bombs came raining from the sky in the last century. In 1965, it was put to use as a shelter for the homeless and outcast poor who have always gravitated to Spitalfields. This initiative became the Spitalfields Crypt Trust which moved to Shoreditch in 2000, where it continues to offer support and rehabilitation to those in need.

Meanwhile, prior to the restoration of Christ Church, the crypt was excavated and the bodies were transferred to the Natural History Museum, where they remain one of the most significant collections of human remains in forensic and evolutionary studies. In recent years, the crypt has served the parish as a space for meetings, exhibitions and storage for the food bank.

Yet now all the walls accreted over time to serve these purposes have come down and the space has been emptied out  – after three hundred years it is now a vacant space again, awaiting new life.

“The crypt at Christ Church has been a place of hospitality, rest, learning and the arts for most of its life in one way or another. The newly developed crypt that will emerge in the Spring of 2015 will continue to be a place of hospitality, rest, learning and the arts. A new lounge, a new hall, gallery spaces and a public refectory open throughout the week will ensure Christ Church Spitalfields is a place of welcome to those who visit from the local community and from the international community. Our prayer is that they would feel welcomed in and blessed by God on their journey through life.” – Andy Rider, Rector of Christ Church

Eighteenth century shroud discovered during the excavations in 1984-1986

Archaeological excavations in the crypt, 1984-86

The crypt was used as a bomb shelter in World War Two

The dormitory of the homeless shelter in the crypt

The cafeteria of the homeless shelter

Recent art installation by Nicholas Feldmeyer

An East End family shelters from the London Blitz in the crypt of Christ Church

Shroud & Excavation Image © Natural History Museum

Archive Images courtesy Christ Church Spitalfields

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Illustrated London, 1893

October 11, 2014
by the gentle author

Complementing last week’s feature of leading businesses from Modern London, 1888, I present these progressive commercial enterprises selected from Illustrated London, 1893

Allen & Hanburys, Manufacturing Pharmaceutical Chemists & Wholesale Druggists, Bethnal Green – For the origin of this eminent firm we have to go back to as far as the days of Mr Silvanus Bevan who was admitted into the Apothecaries’ Company in 1715. Moreover, the firm does not neglect the requirements of modern enterprise . They are always progressive and their works at Bethnal Green are large and splendidly equipped, and are devoted to the  extensive manufacture of many important specialities

Messrs H R Mopsey & Co, Ironmongers, High St, Wandsworth – Founded in the year 1840, this firm embodies all the improvements which the interim of half a century has enabled the proprietors to introduce and  you will find the aspect of the firm’s handsome premises quite in accordance with the representative and leading position which the house has long occupied in this vicinity.

Messrs Culverwell, Brooks & Co, Brokers, Colonial & Foreign Hides, Skins, Leather, Furs, Taloow &c, Sunn & Toppings Wharves, Bermondsey – This is one of the most important businesses of its kind in London and it is still steadily growing in extent and importance. The partners are business men of sound judgement and marked enterprise, and are worthy representatives of the important branch of commerce with which they have been so long associated.

Messrs Morel Bros, Cobbett & Son Ltd, Importers & Purveyors of High Class Comestibles, Piccadilly – The extensive and mercantile concern now carried under the above title was formed several years ago by the amalgamation of two old-established and high class businesses long known in the West End. As purveyors to Her Majesty to the Queen, the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duchess of Albany, Prince Christian and Prince Henry of Battenberg, Messrs Morel Bros, Cobbett & Son Ltd enjoy the most distinguished patronage it is possible to secure.

Jay’s Mourning Warehouse, Regent St – The last half century has witnessed in London the creation of a number of unique mercantile institutions predestined to win fame and play the part of leaders in their departments of commercial activity. Undoubtedly, no other firm will more readily occur to our readers as answering this description than Jay’s, which has conducted over fifty years that great mourning house in Regent St. Recently, this noted firm sustained a loss in the death of its distinguished founder Mr W C Jay.

The Manufacturing Goldsmiths’ & Silversmiths’ Co, Regent St – Some of the finest business establishments in the world line the broad and fashionable thoroughfare of Regent St and the conspicuous feature in this brilliant array of shops are these showrooms with their unequalled display of beautiful and costly specialities.

Messrs Whitebread, Morris & co, Engravers, Steam Printers & Lithographers, Bookbinders & Export Stationers, Fenchurch St – In connection with the printing and lithographing art industries which are so extensively carried on in the City of London, a prominent position has long been held by this well known firm whose name is identified with the production of a large variety of high class work.

Herbert Finch & Co, Designers, Engravers & Colour Printers, Wholesale Manufacturers & Export Stationers, Specialists in Novelties for Advertising, Leadenhall St – In 1879, they erected this noble structure within which their trade is now carried on, and which forms one of the largest and finest printing offices in the City. Mr Herbert Finch is widely known in the trade and is thoroughly and practically versed in all its details, and he continues to take an active and supreme part in its management of the firm which owes its success and advancement to his energy and foresight.

The Great Tower Tea Co Ltd, Jewry St – To the enterprise of this firm, the public is indebted for a very marked and widespread improvement in the quality of tea.

Whyte Ridsdale & Co, Manufacturers’ Agents, Warehousemen & Importers of Fancy Goods, Houndsditch – For over twenty-five years, they have been involved in the business of preparing, collecting and distributing British and Foreign fancy goods, and they have been compelled – more than once – to increase their accommodation and pull down their premises. Still, the increase of their business outstrips the room which the enlarged premises afford and this year is to witness a further large addition to the building they occupy.

Mr Henry Conolly, Manufacturing Sanitary Engineer, Tolmers Sq – In connection with the great developments in sanitary science which have taken place during the past half century, no name is better known or enjoys a higher reputation than that of Henry Conolly.

Messrs John S Fitter & Son, Meat Salesmen, Leadenhall Market – Every visitor to the market is familiar with this fine establishment in the Grand Avenue .They were the earliest appointed agents in England for New Zealand and Australian frozen meat and, by their energetic advocacy of this valuable product and the splendid quality of the supplies they placed in the market, they speedily overcame the, altogether groundless and short-sighted, objections which at first met their endeavours to develop this new and useful trade.

Royal Rubber Co, Sloane St – Not so very many years ago, the waterproof garment was universally regarded as a necessary evil by travellers and persons whose business forced them to face inclement weather, because of its extreme awkwardness and uncompromising ugliness. Now the celebrated Royal Rubber Co brings forward perfect weather defences, in the form of graceful, elegant, artistic and essentially comfortable items of waterproof attire.

H Mallett, Window Blind Manufacturer  & Upholsterer, Finchley Rd – After nearly thirty years in the business, Mr Mallett, an expert and skilled workman, took the above premises and developed what has now become the most important business of its kind in London. Mr Mallett has shown much ingenuity in introducing many useful improvements and desirable novelties in his trade.

Messrs Symmons Bros, General Drapers, Hosiers, Silk Merchants, Lades’, Gentlemen’s & Children’s Outfitters, Finchley Rd – This establishment is splendidly appointed in the best modern style, served by numerous and highly efficient staff, and stocked with a choice selection of goods, that entitles it to comparison with the leading houses of the West End.

C Holz, Theatrical & Private Wig-Maker, Covent Garden – Although the modern perruquier is not so universally in demand as his predecessor of the ‘good old days,’ he is – if anything – called upon to exercise far greater skill in his art by fashioning wigs which cannot be distinguished from the natural normal head of hair and, among the cleverest exponents of the craft in the metropolis, a place of distinction must unquestionably be accorded to Mr C Holz, who entered upon his present prosperous career in Fulham twelve years ago and subsequently migrated to his current, eligibly situated, premises to give full scope to a rapidly-expanding business.

Wade & Co, Tailors, Habit & Breeches Makers, Colonial & American Outfitters, Gracechurch St – The founder, Mr Zachariah Wade, attributes its success to the recognition and application of the principle of cash payments applied to the production and sale of best goods only, a principle hitherto associated with what is known in the trade as slop-made articles.  Lighted with electricity, goods now may be selected during a London fog with almost as much satisfaction as upon a bright sunny day.

Images courtesy Bishopsgate Institute

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A Hoxton Childhood

October 10, 2014
by the gentle author

Terry Jasper, son of A S Jasper, has organised a reading of dramatised excerpts from his father’s celebrated autobiography  A Hoxton Childhood at Hoxton Hall next week, on Thursday 16th October at 6pm. Admission is free and Terry will talking about his father after the reading. Meanwhile, you can read my interview below with Terry from 2013.

Albert Stanley Jasper

“The initials stand for Albert Stanley, but he was always know as Stan, never Albert,” admitted Terry Jasper, speaking of his father when we met at F. Cooke’s Pie & Mash Shop in Hoxton Market. A.S. Jasper’s A Hoxton Childhood is one of the classic East End childhood autobiographies, acclaimed since it was first published in 1969 when The Observer described it as “Zola without the trimmings.”

“In the late sixties, my mum and dad lived in a small ground floor flat. Looking out of the window onto the garden one morning, he saw a tramp laying on the grass who had been there all night. My dad took him out a sandwich and a cup of tea, and told him that he wouldn’t be able to stay there,Terry recalled,I think most people in that situation would have just phoned the police and left it at that.” It is an anecdote that speaks eloquently of Stan Jasper’s compassionate nature, informing his writing and making him a kind father, revered by his son all these years later.

Yet it is in direct contrast to the brutal treatment that Stan received at the hands of his own alcoholic father William, causing the family to descend in a spiral of poverty as they moved from one rented home to another, while his mother Lily struggled heroically against the odds to maintain domestic equilibrium for her children. “My grandmother, I only met her a couple of times, but once I was alone with her in the room and she said, ‘Your dad, he was my best boy, he took care of me.'” Terry remembered.

“There are a million things I’d like to have asked him when he was alive but I didn’t,” Terry confided to me, contemplating his treasured copy of his father’s book that sat on the table between us, “My dad died in 1970, he was sixty-five – It was just a year after publication but he saw it was a success.”

“When he was a teenager, he was a wood machinist and the sawdust got on on his lungs and he got very bad bronchitis. When I was eight years old, the doctor told him he must give up his job, otherwise the dust would kill him. My mum said to him that this was something he had to do and he just broke down. It was very strange feeling, because I didn’t think then that grown-ups cried.”

Stan started his own business manufacturing wooden cases for radios in the forties, employing more than seventy people at one point until it ran into difficulties during the credit squeeze of the fifties. Offered a lucrative buy-out, Stan turned it down out of a concern that his employees might lose their jobs but, shortly after, the business went into liquidation. “He should have thought of his family rather his workers,” commented Terry regretfully, “He lost his factory and his home and had to live in a council flat for the rest of his life.”

“My dad used to talk about his childhood quite a lot, he never forgot it – so my uncle said, ‘Why don’t you write it all down?’ And he did, but he tried to get it published without success. Then a friend where I worked in the City Rd took it to someone he knew in publishing, and they really liked it and that’s how it got published. When the book came out in 1969, he wanted to go back to Hoxton to see what was still left, but his health wasn’t good enough.”

Terry ‘s memories of his father’s struggles are counterbalanced by warm recollections of family celebrations.“He always enjoyed throwing a party, especially if he was in the company of my mother’s family. It wasn’t easy obtaining beer and spirits during the warm but somehow he managed to find a supply.  He was always generous where money was concerned, sometimes to a fault, and he had a nice voice and didn’t need much persuading to get up and sing a song or two.”

A.S. Jasper’s ‘A Hoxton Childhood’ is an authentic and compelling story of survival and of the triumph of a protagonist who retains his sense of decency against all the odds. “He said he would always settle for the way life turned out,” Terry concluded fondly.

Terry Jasper at F Cooke in Hoxton Market

Cover design for the first edition of A Hoxton Childhood drawn by James Boswell

William Jasper – “His main object in life was to be continually drunk”

Lily Jasper – “I asked her what made her marry a man like my father”

Stan (on the right) with his brother Fred

Stan and his wife Lydia

Terry as a boy

Terry in 1960

Terry with his dad Stan

Stan and his sister Flo

Stan

Terry with Stan & Lydia at Christmas

High jinks at a family Christmas party

A S Jasper – “So, out of so disastrous a childhood, I am now surrounded, in spite of poor health, with love and happiness.”



In Search Of Roman London

October 9, 2014
by the gentle author

Roman London is still under construction

From Spitalfields, you have only to walk down Bishopsgate to find yourself in Londinium, since the line of Bishopsgate St follows that of Ermine St which was the major Roman road north from London Bridge. Tombs once lined the path as it approached the City, just as they did along the Appian Way in Rome.

The essential plan of the City of London was laid out by the Romans when they built their wall around Londinium at the end of the second century, after Boudica and her tribes burnt the settlement. Eighty years earlier, the Romans had constructed a fort where the Barbican stands today and, in their defensive plan, they extended its walls south to the Thames and in an easterly arc that met the river where the Tower of London stands now.

A fine eighteenth century statue of the Emperor Trajan touts to the tourists at Tower Hill, drawing their attention to the impressive stretch of wall that survives there, striped by the characteristic Roman feature of courses of red clay tiles, inserted between layers of shaped Kentish Ragstone  to ensure that the wall would be consistently level.

Just fifty yards from here at Cooper’s Row, round the back of the Grange City Hotel, is an equally spectacular stretch of wall that is off the tourist trail. Here you can see the marks of former staircases and medieval windows cut through to create a rugged monument of significant height.

Yet, in the mile between here and the Barbican, very little has survived from the centuries in which stone from the wall was pillaged for other buildings. It is possible to seek access to some corporate premises with lone fragments marooned in the basement, but instead I decided to walk over to All Hallows by the Tower which has a little museum of great charisma in its crypt. Here is part of the tessellated floor of a Roman dwelling of the second century and Captain Lowther’s splendid model of Roman London from 1928.

At the Barbican, a stretch of wall that was once part of the Roman fort is visible, punctuated by a string of monumental bastions which are currently under restoration. Walking up from St Paul’s, you come across the wall in Noble St first, still encrusted with the bricks of the buildings within which it was once embedded. Then you arrive at London Wall, an avenue of gleaming towers lining a windy boulevard of fast-moving traffic, which takes it name from the ancient edifice.

I was lucky enough to be permitted access to a secret concrete bunker, beneath the road surface yet above the level of the underground car park. Here was one of the gateways of Roman London and I saw where the wooden gate posts had worn grooves into the stone that supported them. At last, I could enter Roman London. In that underground room, I walked across the few metres of gravel chips that now cover the ground level of the former roadway between the gate posts, where the chariots passed through. Long ago, I should have been trampled by the traffic if I had stood there, just as I should be mown down if I stood in London Wall today. We switched out the light and locked the door on Roman London to emerge into the daylight again.

In the gardens of the Barbican, the presence of foliage and grass permits the bastions of the City wall to assert themselves, standing apart from the contemporary built environment that surrounds them. From here, I turned west to visit the cloister of St Vedast in Foster Lane, which has an intriguing panel of a tessellated floor mounted in a frame, and St Bride’s in Fleet St, where deep in the crypt, you can lean over a wall to see the floor of the Roman dwelling that once stood there, reflected in a mirror. The reality of these items stirs the imagination just as their fragmentary nature challenges it to envisage such a remote world.

By now, it was late afternoon. I was weary and the sunshine had faded, and it was time to make tracks quickly back to Spitalfields as the sky clouded over – yet I was inspired by my brief Roman holiday in London.

Eighteenth century bronze statue of Trajan at Tower Hill

Model of Roman London in the crypt of All Hallows by the Tower. Made by Captain Lowther in 1928, it shows London Bridge AD 400 – Spitalfields appears as a settlement of Britons beyond the wall.

Roman City Wall at Tower Hill

At Tower Hill

At Cooper’s Row

Lines of red clay tiles were inserted between the blocks of stone to keep the wall level

Tessellated floor in the crypt of All Hallows by the Tower

Timber from a Roman wharf preserved in the porch of St Magnus the Martyr

In the cloister of St Vedast Alias Foster

In the crypt of St Bride’s, Fleet St

Foundation of a Roman Guard Tower in Noble St

Outside 1 London Wall

Part of the entrance gate to Roman London in the underground chamber

Model of the north west entrance to Roman London

A fragment of wall in the underground chamber

Bastion at London Wall

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At The RHS Harvest Festival

October 8, 2014
by the gentle author

Over in Victoria yesterday, the pupils of Westminster School were enjoying sport in the autumn sunshine upon the superior grass of Vincent Sq. While, inside the Lindley Hall that overlooks the square, immaculate fruit and vegetables lined the tables of the Royal Horticultural Society Harvest Festival, illuminated by that same October sunlight descending in shafts through the decorative Edwardian vaulted glass ceiling to majestic effect. It has been a wonderful summer but now the time is come and the fruit and vegetables are gathered for us to savour.

I arrived at opening time to encounter the fragrance of ripening apples filling the hall, where judges were still deliberating over produce and growers still tweaking their impeccable displays. In hushed tones, I heard the accents of the English regions exchanging excited comments of anticipation, as our nation’s leading horticulturalists examined their competition respectfully and took each other’s photographs with their magnificent vegetable specimens. All year, through the spring and summer they had tended their beloved charges and now the moment of reckoning was upon them.

There is an undeniable surrealism to these superlative fruits, the longest leeks, carrots and parsnips, the largest onions and heaviest pumpkins. Yet the innocent delight these glorious monsters draw from bystanders who come here to wonder is an expression of the universal human affection for all the fruits of the earth that sustain us, and a visit to the Lindley Hall to see the Harvest Festival is a joyful experience of religious intensity for anyone who cherishes vegetables – such as myself.

The puzzling irony for the casual visitor is the table of rejects, each example labelled with their particular incriminating flaw while simultaneously possessing the redeeming appearance of high class produce in every other respect. As mere mortals, disregarding the professional pedantry of the judges, I think we may forgive these trifling imperfections in the light of their other admirable vegetable qualities.

Winners of the Heaviest Pumpkin Contest 2014

Judges confer

A proud winner

Checking the marrow

Chelsea Ladies admire the veg

Scrutinising the onions

Perusing the onions

Judging the onions

Assessing the beetroot

Peering at a parsnip

Studying the leeks

A majestic display

Leeks in competition

Investigating the runner beans

Considering a cauliflower

Admiring the apples

Perfect carrots

Seeking fault

RHS London Harvest Festival Show continues today until 5pm at the Lindley Hall, Elverton Street, SW1P 2PE

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