The Loneliness Of Schrodinger
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No-one knows where Schrodinger came from. He wandered in from the street one day and made his home in Shoreditch Church, where he lived for two years before he came to me in Spitalfields. In his vulnerability, Schrodinger learned to be lonely as a means of survival. Loneliness became his friend and his self-sufficiency protected him when life was uncertain.
On the street, Schrodinger experienced the capricious nature of humanity. He discovered their indifference to a stray cat. When the church offered Schrodinger a refuge, he spent long nights patrolling the empty building in the dark. Whenever he drew unwanted attention from dogs in the churchyard, he could escape through a metal grille into the crypt and sleep among the dusty coffins. Thus Schrodinger discovered an affinity with solitude.
When Schrodinger arrived in Spitalfields, he hid behind the old wing chair when anyone entered the room and looked over his shoulder warily while eating. If I approached him sitting on the floor, he frequently sprang up to run away – but keeping as much space around him as he did in Shoreditch Church proved a challenge in my house. He was a creature of hauteur who would not tolerate being stroked or petted and he never sought the opportunity to sit upon my lap as you might expect a cat to do.
Yet his caution was punctuated by sudden expressions of affection, especially when I presented him with plates of fresh food – as if he could not control his gratitude at such unexpected kindness. By the standards of domestic cats, Schrodinger’s expectations were low and he did not presume any privilege. Only in his sleep was he no longer vigilant. At night I came upon him taking his ease, stretched out and defenceless, even if by day he was circumspect.
These signs gave me hope that Schrodinger might overcome his loneliness and accept that he now has a permanent home where he will always be safe. I often saw him looking at me suspiciously, sizing me up. I wondered if he was questioning how long this episode of good fortune might last and whether it was only a matter of time before he was abandoned on the street again. If loneliness is his custom and source of security, Schrodinger cannot sacrifice it as long as he has uncertainty over his circumstance.
One day while I was writing at my desk, Schrodinger climbed up silently and slipped into the gap between me and the back of the chair. A round face appeared beneath my right armpit and a black tail curled round beneath my left armpit as he rubbed himself against my back and purred affectionately. Schrodinger had found a space where he fitted perfectly. Even if he still remained wary when I encountered him face to face, it was unquestionable progress.
To my delight, this new behaviour evolved quickly. So that he waited each day for me to sit at my desk and then ran to leap up, settling down there, snug between me and the back of the chair. As I sit writing now, I can feel his warmth against the small of my back. I wish I could say that he dictated stories to me but the fact is we inhabit separate reveries. We are peaceful in our mutual companionship that requires no eye contact, and I keep this private intimacy in mind when Schrodinger displays his habitual self-possession in other circumstances.
These days when I walk towards him sitting on the carpet, Schrodinger does not move out of the way in skittish discontent. He sits still, holding his ground and knowing that I will step over him or walk round. He spreads his shoulders and stretches out his front legs in the manner of the Sphinx, expressing a certain assurance in his territory and his right to be there.
As the summer has passed, Schrodinger’s confidence has grown. He will approach visitors to greet them and if I reach out a hand to him, he lifts his head up to meet it now. He knows I am not indifferent to him but I do not require him to become a cuddly domesticated subordinate either.We can exchange glances, even if he is more comfortable inhabiting his implacable vigil.
I observe Schrodinger’s internal isolation ebbing away as he becomes accustomed to his new life with me in Spitalfields, yet I respect his dignified self-possession, his remote sufficiency and his introspection. Loneliness shaped Schrodinger’s personality and it has endowed him with courage and strength of character. Loneliness is an essential part of Schrodinger’s nature. Schrodinger’s loneliness is his wisdom.
You may like to read my earlier story about Schrodinger
Order this handsome collection of stories of my old cat THE LIFE & TIMES OF MR PUSSY, A Memoir Of A Favourite Cat
A beautiful piece. Schrodinger is a fortunate cat, and your patience and empathy is your wisdom, I think.
He will keep growing into more trust and direct contact, at his individual pace.
He is a handsome fellow, with very intelligent sharp eyes.
More cat stories please!
My son has recently acquired a new cat that is terribly stressed. I have asked him to enquire about its history as it came from a rescue charity and seems to be very nervous and stressed. I hope that his little cat will begin to feel safe and find its little haven of peace. I truly believe they all settle with kindness and a predictable routine.
I’ve never been without a cat in my adult life. We have had a succession of rescue cats – some strays. One was very wild, and took months to calm. In the end, he became a lap cat and I felt hugely privileged when he would choose my lap as his seat.
I like cats because they maintain their independence. We have cat flaps that give them freedom to roam outside, but they always return because this is their territory, their haven, and we are their caregivers.
Sometimes at night, they cry, and come upstairs, seeking reassurance that I am still here. It’s quite “uncatlike” behaviour, but I confess that it’s pleases me to think that I’m missed.
I’m glad Schrodinger is doing well. News about Schrodinger are always very welcome. Thank you.
I truly believe if we love animals it is as if we have loved the world .
he sounds and looks a wonderful cat..a perfect companion for a writer…I think tuxes are the Great London Cat..such an honour for you that one is prepared to live with you.
He could even be a descendant of Trixie who lived in the Tower with the Earl of Essex….
This is a perfect description of a cat who has learned wariness but recognises love and safety. My cat, who we took from a rescue charity, still retains a sense of alertness and recognises change before it arrives. But she is loving and fine company, even if she can turn and bite without warning, and seeks me out every evening after a day going about her business. It is a situation that suits us both. Please give Schrodinger a respectful nod from me next time you pass.
sorry…not the Earl of Essex but of Southampton..pictues online…she looks quite a cat
There is only one thing required if you want to help a traumatised animal but it is a major thing and it must be consistent and that is Patience.
Leave them to discover for themselves that you are there to care for them and eventually – and it might take a long time – they will come to you and it will be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.
Not many animals are so lucky but Schrodinger met the right person and ended up with the life they deserved. Great story.
Schrodinger looks & sounds adorable. Very glad he eventually relaxed his cat pride & snuggled safely in your chair with you – so delightful company!
I love reading about your kitties partly because I have my own cat and have had cats nearly all of my adult life as do two of my adult children, also. My current cat likes to spend her time reclining on the scanner that is behind the desktop computer. I think this is because the scanner is the size of a curled up cat, more or less. My mother’s cat preferred being a living centerpiece in the middle of the dining room table.
I love to read about your relationship with Schrodinger, based on respect and affection – he’s a lucky boy to end up with you!
A wonderful story about an irreplaceable housemate. If I had known that my neighbours would simply give away their cat CHICO, who had already shown me his trust by visiting me every day, I would have adopted him immediately. Now he is so far away…
An animal like him is a true blessing in these hopeless times, when even your ‘friends’ disappoint you. Fortunately, there are still true friends, such as the birds, whose joy at their daily food makes ME happy too!
Love & Peace
ACHIM
I totally got the part about Schrödinger hiding behind a wing chair. My last cat Susie was a stray who’d been found by a work colleague who couldn’t keep her as he had 2 other cats. It seems she’d belonged to an elderly gentleman but he’d sadly died and the family put Susie out on the street, the vet told me she was about 2.
When we took her home with us she was so afraid she spent the best part of 4 days hiding behind our livingroom sofa, then she came out and slowly began to trust us. She lived for another 12 years and I was devastated when she had to be put to sleep as she was like a loving friend, especially when I had a serious illness and was bedridden for long periods.